Welcome Back!

Well hello, hello! I know you're totally shocked if you're reading this that I actually started my blog again and changed the name. HA! I decided maybe now I will have some time on my hands to write about our life in the Lawson house and the changes that will come as we welcome another little boy. This will give me something to do in the hospital and while I'm on bed rest. This blog will be a work in progress so don't expect too much too fast. :) If you know me, you know I'm a talker but not the best with words so some posts may just be rambling and other's thought provoking. I'm not the best writer but I love writing to get my feelings out. I figure if it's my blog I will post whatever I feel so be ready. Hahaha! Iwould love to post pictures of Kaleb but it seems that most of my pictures are on my home computer instead of my laptop right now...I'll get you some when I get home. Like I said...this is a work in progress.

So just to give you a quick update from the hospital...I will be switched off my Magnesium IV today and back on my Tributaline pump that I had before coming to the hospital. I have faith that nothing will change and if things stay as they are and my contractions don't get too crazy I will be able to go home tomorrow. YAY! My baby shower is Saturday and I am determined to make it. Being here 8 days so far sounds like nothing to some people but I am totally ready to get out of here. I miss being with my hubby and my little man. My Dr isn't super excited about the idea and says he will decide Monday morning when I see him if I have to come back and stay for the remainder of my pregnancy. The thought of being in the hospital a week to 6 weeks is a bit overwhelming but like this time I'll take it one day at a time.

Let me just brag on my husband and my son for a second if I may. They have handled this soooo well. Everything was just thrown at them with not much time for adjustment. Kirby has amazed me at how well he's taken care of everything and Kaleb has totally surprised me. Kirby is such an awesome dad and I could not be more blessed. He's doing a great job at balancing his job, the house, the dogs (it's a chore...trust me), Kaleb and making time to visit me. Kaleb is lucky to have him and Jack will be too. I figured Kaleb would have lots of tears with me being gone but he hasn't. He just acts like this is where Mommy lives and it's no big deal. Some days I wonder if he misses me...and I'm sure he does but it helps that he doesn't show it when he comes to visit. When it's time to leave the hospital he pulls up my shirt, lays his head on my belly, kisses baby "Dack" aka Jack and says "bye, bye Mommy." And that's it...he's off. I'm so lucky we have Kirby's family here as well as so many friends to help with Kaleb and keep his little world somewhat the same. I know it will get harder if I have to stay here long-term but we'll work it out just like we have been.

And Baby Jack. I am today 29 weeks and 5 days into my pregnancy but Jack is actually measuring a week ahead of me which is good if he's born early. As of Tuesday he weighed 3lbs 3oz which is great for right now so he's right on track. He's so precious and has cute chubby cheeks. I hope he stays put for a while but I can't wait to meet him. He's pretty active so I imagine he'll be a lot like Kaleb. Although...every kid is different so we'll see.

People keep asking "how are you really?" And to be honest I REALLY am doing ok. Sure I have moments when I just start crying and can't stop. Sometimes I'm not sure why I'm crying and I just chalk it up to pregnancy hormones. Other times it's because I just want to be a "normal" pregnant girl who does life as usual and gets to enjoy being pregnant. But in those moments I cry even harder because I feel so selfish for thinking that. There are friends of mine who want nothing more than to pregnant so I cannot lay here and feel sorry for myself. I truly do LOVE being pregnant...not saying I like my pregnancies but I will miss feeling this little life inside me moving around. So I will count every day as a blessing. Other times I cry just because I want to go home, be in my own house, in my own bed, with my own food and just be a wife and mommy. So YES...I have my moments but I am doing ok. I think it's normal to have a wide range of emotions at this point. But I will not complain because I know it could be worse and little Jack needs to hang in there for as long as possible. SO, for those asking...you can stop worrying, I'll make it just like everyone else does. :)

I will post more updates as things change so check back often if you'd like and leave a comment if you feel the need! Me posting here will make it easier for people who may not care to get updates This will help me get my feelings out so read what you want and enjoy the ride. :)

I'm excited that you're taking this journey with us!